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- 11/13/2019 - Last week I spotted an Albino Dalmatian. It was the least I could do for him......
- 10/23/2019 - My gym got a new machine, I used it for an hour and felt sick. It does everything, Crunchie, Kit Kat, Moro, Picnic and heaps more.
- 10/15/2019 - I took a Pole. 99% of people get annoyed at their tent collapsing.
- 10/09/2019 - I bought a book about improving your memory. When I got home, I put it on the shelf next to the other five...
- 10/03/2019 - My wife said she was leaving me because I keep talking like a news reader. More on that story later.
- 09/25/2019 - The other day I saw a slide with an 85 degree incline for sale, it was $1000. I thought that's a bit steep
- 09/19/2019 - I hate it when people can't let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst!!!
- 09/18/2019 - I hate it when people can't let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst!!!
- 09/11/2019 - I went to the Doctor about my blocked ears. "Which ear is it?" he asked. 2019 I replied.
- 09/03/2019 - They told me I could never do poetry due to my Dyslexia. But I showed them. I made 3 pots and a vase.
- 08/29/2019 - I told my wife I would pick up fish and chips on the way home. She just grunted at me. I still think that she regrets letting me name the twins.
- 08/22/2019 - Did we ever find out what the Knights in White sat in?
- 08/14/2019 - My wife returned her talking Parrot after a week. "It has not said anything yet" she complained. "I haven't had a chance" replied the Parrot.
- 08/06/2019 - Last week I sold my Homing Pigeon on Trade Me for the 3rd time......
- 07/31/2019 - I wrote my wife a list of 10 jokes to make her laugh. No pun in ten did.
- 07/24/2019 - My wife asked me why I always whisper. I said it's because Mark Zuckerberg was listening to us. She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed, Siri laughed.
- 07/17/2019 - I have an important meeting at the bank this week. If it goes well my money troubles will be over. I'm so excited I can hardly put on my balaclava.
- 07/09/2019 - I took the shell off my Racing Snail to make him faster. If anything it made him a little sluggish.
- 07/04/2019 - Is a Hippopotamus a real animal or is it just a really cool Opotamus?
- 06/25/2019 - I went to visit a Psychic. I knocked on his front door and he yelled, "Who is it?" So I left.