"If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been ‘It’s round.'”
— Eddie Izzard
"“I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending.”
— Jack Whitehall
"Sometimes my grandma guilt trips me about doing drugs. That’s why I know I’m super high, cuz she’s dead."
— Kate Quigley
“Life starts out with everyone clapping at your poo and it goes down from there.”
— Sloane Crosley
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