Sunbeams! I missed you!

Ok — Imma just keep it ALL THE WAY real with you, going into Memorial Day weekend I had a completely different letter outlined in my head. I wanted to talk to you about the fearless (and fearful?) first steps of finding play again. Of how good it felt to have summer sun peeking at my shoulders, even if I needed to wear a mask and keep six feet apart to do so. It was going to be soft. Sweet, even. Something that felt like the spring that turns into summer, even though we can’t go outside. Then four police in Minneapolis murdered George Floyd and tear gassed those who protested in memory of his life. Then a racist white woman in Central Park decided to weaponize her white tears and threaten Christian Cooper’s life because he asked her to follow the rules. I’m still mourning Ahmaud Arbery. And then. And then. And then.

So instead here are five things I am stubbornly holding onto for gratitude, because you know what? I’m fucking angry. I’m heated. And They don’t get to steal my own joy the same way they’re trying so damn hard to steal my breath: 

1. Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey Ice Cream tastes as good now as it did when I was 8 years old. 2. Megan Thee Stallion got her first career #1 on the Billboard Charts and I can finally do the entire Savage Remix front-to-back without fucking it up. 3. My new pink sundress that has just enough hoe in it to keep ‘em guessing. 4. Iced coffee with vanilla almond milk and homemade simple syrup 5. You.

I’m thankful for you most of all,
Carmen

Lost and Found in the Fish Sauce: How I Cooked My Way Back Home by Sal Tran

Sal’s approach to cooking is inherently fluid and queer. Join them as they conjure their mother and the feeling of home by making cá kho, and follow their cooking channel, Lost In The Fish Sauce, for more stories and recipes.

Learning to Live After My Younger Brother Died by An Bùi

Even those who are younger than us can become our ancestors when they pass away. An considers the messages of hope and love that her brother left to her in his life.

The Price I Pay For(ever) My Culture by Terisa Siagatonu

It’s a challenge to be part of a culture and also commit to making it evolve. These are the risks that Terisa faces to give a queer, Samoan culture to future generations.

I Am Who I Am: Annalise Keating and the Power of Black Reflection by Natalie

“This thing that happened to me … is why I am the way I am.” Natalie delves into what she’s learned about herself through Annalise Keating’s character on How To Get Away With Murder.

White Women Drive Me Crazy by Aisha Mirza

This essay may be from 2017, but it resurfaced with great power and urgency for us this week, and Carmen says it best: “It’s straight up the best sociological breakdown of how white women weaponize their own fragility that I’ve ever seen.”

👩‍🍳 Stewed Awakening by Navneet Alang

Because we’re still “the stew”-ing about Alison Roman and needed this longform piece on why.

😷 State Your Emergency by Dickens

🔮 Lady Shot by Mojo Disco

A little extra feminine beauty and sensuality is wholly welcome.

👕 Merch Sale by Autostraddle

Take 15% off all Autostraddle merch purchases with code GAYPOWER15 until May 31st.