I enjoy these workshops, they are always informative, friendly and restful. Following the workshops, I planned to travel to New Smyrna Beach – an hour north – to stay at a bed and breakfast, kayak, and treat myself to a couple of visits to a wonderful spa. Sounds great, don’t you agree?
As I was preparing to leave the seminar, however, I was very tempted to call and cancel. I think it was my mother’s “voice” in my head, urging me to consider just returning home (although my husband was in Kentucky visiting relatives) and just sit – safely – on my front porch, reading a book and resting. Being safe and resting were frequent admonitions from mom.
I sat in the parking lot of the hotel for a while – undecided. I felt a little jittery (not really to the degree I’d call anxiety) when I thought about the New Smyrna option. It certainly felt safer and less stressful to just go home – to the familiar. “After all,” some part of me said, “why do you need yet another adventure? You’ve already had a lovely weekend. Kayaking could be dangerous. Driving might be hectic.” And so on. An opposing part of me responded, “You champion expanding oneself, not withdrawing from life – you can’t chicken out!”