He said that â€œdestinyâ€ is not a thing to be waited for. It is not some inevitable outcome that we must grieve and accept. â€œDestinyâ€ is, rather, a matter of choice. Within our circumstances (no matter what they are), we still have choices. â€œDestinyâ€ is the accumulation â€“ the result of those choices.
Aging well, as we know, is challenging. In addition to the losses we anticipate, there are numerous irritations that we never expected. Often though, it isnâ€™t the losses my clients mourn. It is, instead, their lack of passion and joy in their daily lives. They are stuck â€“ contemplating THEIR FATE â€“ that is, to grow older and encounter loss day by day â€“ an inevitable outcome to be grieved and somehow accepted.
We generally tend to use â€œfateâ€ and â€œdestinyâ€ interchangeably. Today, Iâ€™m emphasizing (and magnifying) powerful and significant differences between them. â€œFateâ€ is a preordained course that will occur regardless of your actions or inaction. We all die eventually â€“ and so â€œfateâ€ for older people may be primarily associated with death and dying. Contrast this to â€œDestinyâ€ defined as a course of events where individual choices actively shape the course and direction. Destiny is about living â€“ about active choices that determine how we live each day.