In that last letter, I gave my "words for the year" asking you to hold me accountable and create your own. How are you doing on yours?
To be honest, I'd completely forgotten about them until I sat down to write this.
Here's an update of where I am with each...
Turns out, I needed more connection and support than I thought. Keeping people at arms length is my default, letting them in is actually what I need ... more to come...
It became uncomfortably clear how inflexible I'd become in my twenties. Control is my warm blanket. My rigidity holds me back. I'm diving into the deep uncomfortable sea the unknown, ughhhh...it's cold in here and I treading water is hard. Will I learn to float in here soon?
Check! Not to brag but, killllling it at this one. I've never felt more softhearted as I have these past few months. Hear about that on the podcast here, here, or here. I've been more present, open, and aware than ever, which brings me to the last word...
On a whim I booked a trip to Paris. I thought when I got there, I'd suddenly be a flexible-savoring-tender-autonomous-Parisian-esque person...but nope. I was still an overthinking-people-pleasing-rigid-overwhelmed American girl. As much as I wanted Paris to be a magic salve for my temperament but, "wherever you go, there you are."
Landing in Paris, I was still me, but I met someone who was the Parisian vision I idealized. Camille owns a start up, yet wore sneakers every day. On Monday she went live on national TV, yet spent Sunday off her phone cooking & resting on her hammock. She toured me around her city drinking hot chocolate, coffee, and wine. We ate quiche, sweet potato fries, and at one point I watched as she scooped up the excess sauce from her meal at the cafe with a hunk of bread, she had in her bag. As I watched her eat, rest, and live her life--I saw why I chose the word savor.
I don't really need the other words if I fully embody that one. Savoring forces you to be tender, flexible, and autonomous. You can't savor when you're rigid, worried, or distracted. Savoring is working when you're working and resting when you're resting. Camille did everything focused and fully. She fully savored her dog, her friends, her boyfriend, her city, her team, and her food with fervor. You could feel it. She even savored me, her American protégé--I could feel that too.
To savor is to love.
I'll write or talk to you soon, but in the meantime please...
SAVOR, SAVOR, SAVOR, and savor some more because you you might accidentally drop an important delicate fruit if you don't...
I savor you,