I asked, “Do you know if you can do it?” and she did! Her along with others I’ve spoken to have most often they’ve studied extensively or are passionately seeking an opportunity to get that experience and they totally have the smarts to ace the task/role.
So what does a lack of self-esteem, as I will simply refer to it “self-confidence” look like? Given confidence is defined “as our belief in our ability to succeed at a given task”, a lack of it drives risk aversion and makes people less willing to pursue new challenges and opportunities. Sticking with the safe status quo will not open new doors for you.
It had ignited a fire within me, the powerful woman ju-ju that will never let myself get in the way of taking on an opportunity that I desire ever again.
When you study you build up “Career Capital”. You do the same when you learn something new or when you put yourself out there to do something you know you have the ability to do.
1: Believing in yourself. You will never succeed at doing something you, yourself don’t 100% believe you can, or have the capacity to achieve.
Women are more likely to be perfectionists, holding themselves back from asking for a new opportunity, applying for a new job, starting a business, asking for a raise, until they’re absolutely 100 percent sure they can predict the outcome.
For example: women may apply for a promotion only when they meet 100 percent of the qualifications. Men will apply when they meet 50 percent.
But even this statistic can have a heteronormative bias.
2: Find ways of learning the skills you need to gain an opportunity, before that opportunity reaches you. The Scouts always say that “Prior preparation prevents poor performance” and as dorky as I thought that was when I first heard it as a kid, it’s stuck with me. I wanted to get out of a role as a facilitator into building online learning – so I volunteered and did a small project in my spare time and learned heaps. I wanted to start building websites for people as a freelancer, so I started with building one myself with some help and I’ve learned so much more than I’ve ever imagined. This allows me now to share those skills with others.
3. Access to learning is never an excuse not to learn. In this age of the internet there are tutorials everywhere. I’ve taught myself graphic design, animation, coding languages, and more recently film and video editing by watching YouTube tutorials. Find courses that teach you the specific skills you need and can put into practice straight away. Just-in-time learning is the best way to learn information and retain it. Learn something new, then DO it. Even if it is just for yourself, gives you the confidence to vehemently answers “YES, I can do that!
Consistently it seems that a fundamental lack of belief in our own value, worth and ability to achieve consistently tempers female ambition and holds us back. Age and Gender Differences in Self-Esteem—A Cross-Cultural Window: Samuel D. Gosling University of Texas at Austin and University of Melbourne: If you wish to read more and view some amazing but gender binary stats on self confidence on a global cross cultural study.
4. It’s never too late to start building confidence and your skills. Don’t freak out if you are only starting to build your confidence, hone your skills and become an expert starting now. Give something your full and intense attention. That state of intense attention your skill will start using your brain at its full power. To improve your skill the fastest you need to give it your full and intense attention NOW without distraction. You produce work that is much better and that’s the state that pushes your capability and makes you better.
Nothing builds confidence in any arena more than stepping right into the middle of it…palms sweating, stomach knotted, beside the others out their building their own opportunities and taking their own risks. This builds community and strength in knowing “if they can do it – so can I!”
5. Let your passion follow you. Don’t follow your passion. This is only a recent development or idea. Follow something you are good at, work hard, stick at it and hone your skill so you are the expert and the opportunities you want will start to be offered to you. Find the skills that are rare and valuable, you then gain more leverage to create autonomy for yourself. You can then steer your work towards the opportunities that really resonate with you. Overtime this will really become a source of real passion for you. Read the full post..