Letter from the Executive Director
Well, much has happened since our last newsletter! Not only for PAL but for me personally. Over the past few years, I have been essentially serving in the role of Executive Director as well as the Board Chairman. As PAL has grown this has evolved into too many hours and responsibilities to be handled by a volunteer. I mentioned two months ago that we were looking to hire an Executive Director, and that due to a generous grant from the BHHC Legacy Foundation, we were able to obtain partial funding for that position. After a search by the committee they felt the candidates were not quite a fit for where we are as an organization. They then asked me to consider doing the job on a temporary basis (up to two years), to help stabilize our organization as well as put PAL in a better position to hire a full-time, long-term Executive Director. After much prayer and consideration, I have accepted this new role, with a goal of finding a long-term director and hopefully mentoring them into this position. To do this, I needed to step down as the Board Chair, and Jim Kreitler took over this position. Jim is a capable leader on our board and will do an amazing job guiding PAL into the future.
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PAL Blog: Four Steps and
“The One Thing”... Making Change Happen
In the last blog post I discussed change...
The desire to grow and expand as a person and deepen our enjoyment and satisfaction with life. I also mentioned that the only person you really can change is the person staring at you in the mirror. An important (and hopefully encouraging) point to make here is that as you change, you create space and opportunity for your addicted loved one to change! Please take a moment to reflect on this concept... it’s an incredibly important axiom for recovery.

Also introduced was the Whole Life Model that I use to help individuals visualize their lives.

I also provided an exercise to assist you in choosing “That One Thing.” This “one thing” is a specific internal or external change you commit to focus upon. It’s your personal goal!
Now that you have your goal identified let me introduce some steps/guidelines to increase your chances of succeeding.

Sound good? Are you ready? Let’s do it!

#1: Attach a concrete action (behavior) to your goal.

Richard Rohr reminds us... “You don’t think yourself into a new way of living, you live yourself into a new way of thinking.”

The action you are going to take needs to be clear, specific, repeatable and reasonable. Don’t miss your mark by being vague or unrealistic (start small and work up).

EXAMPLE: Goal: Better boundaries with my child
Concrete Action: I will say “no” to requests for money
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PAL's 100 Ball Bash!

Thank you to those who were planning to participate in the 3rd Annual 100 Ball Bash for PAL!  Unfortunately we had to make the difficult decision to cancel the event due to the low number of golf registrants and our required guarantee to TopGolf, it was not feasible to PAL to host the event.
Sadly, we will not host the golf event on Saturday, April 7.
Fry's Food Rewards
Fry's Foods - It's easy and again, it's free.  If you live in Arizona - and now available in Indiana and Ohio - please connect your Fry's Foods rewards to our account. Its easy- and again its free. Please share with all of your family and friends to help PAL every time you shop!  Note: the following link will take you to an instruction sheet to sign up, if you are from Indiana / Ohio, look for PAL that is in your state.

Click here for instructions on signing up for Fry's Foods Community Rewards Program.

A Journey in Recovery:  Playing the Fool
Nobody enjoys feeling like a fool. Sure, there’s practical jokes, which can be innocent enough, or some good-natured ribbing – but truly feeling like you’ve been played out can be exasperating. Unfortunately, for family members, spouses, and even close friends of those struggling with active addiction, this is a feeling that’s all too familiar.

In active addiction, the desperate pursuit of drugs and alcohol to satiate the intense cravings will almost always drive the sufferer to manipulate others, especially the ones who love them the most. These types of behaviors manifest themselves in myriad ways; invariably they involve some scenario in which the intended family member or target is made to feel guilty or sorry for the addict through emotional manipulation. Addicts in active addiction will always have a thousand excuses as to why they need something from you, and can be astonishingly adept at creating intricately wound lies designed to extract your money, time, emotional support, or resources in general.

Though it hurts to admit, there were times in my own addiction wherein I engaged with my parents in multiple deceitful ways with the sole goal of financial support. I was depressed, or I was a victim of my circumstances, of misfortune, of others people’s bad choices. But I was never willing to admit that I was the maker of my insanely unmanageable lifestyle. And there were times when they reluctantly bought whatever garbage it was that I was selling. Often times, my story was something along the lines of, “If you could just help me with A, then I could effectively get (or be) B.” This is a somewhat simple example, but nonetheless something I distinctly remember repeating some variation of to my parents endlessly.
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Parent Story: Learning Tough Love
My wife and I want to share what an insightful education and blessing we’ve received from PAL on our journey with our addicted son, and daughter-in-law.  

Being unfamiliar with addiction and manipulative behaviors of addicts, we fell prey to frequent urgent requests for money. The circumstances seemed odd but plausible, typically written off as a long string of bad luck. We typically didn’t hesitate to fulfill the requests, as our 2-year-old grandson was often positioned at the center of their financial need. “Money is tight, and he needs to eat,” was frequently used to help ensure their demands were met.

During this time, as hints of addiction became more apparent, we were unsure how best to deal with and respond to our out-of-state son and wife’s demands and apparent circumstances. We began attending PAL meetings, and quickly learned about the disease of addition, the manipulative behavior of addicts and how to respond. The most difficult thing I’ve ever done was having to tell my son I would no longer give him money—because I loved him.
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Arizona Gives Day: 
An All-Day Online Fundraising Campaign

Arizona Gives Day Returns April 3
BHHS Legacy Foundation is Supporting PAL
with a 2-to-1 Match Donation!  
Your $100 Donation = $300

Join us for 24 hours of giving to benefit Arizona nonprofits, specifically PAL! On April 3rd, during one day of online giving, donors will open their hearts and wallets to support their favorite Arizona non-profit, PAL!

It’s a whirlwind of just 24 hours, but the impact of Arizona Gives Day can be long-lasting! You don't have to be an Arizona resident to give!
Triple the IMPACT of your donation!
BHHS Legacy Foundation will match $2 for every $1 donated!

$10 donation = $30 donation to PAL
$25 donation = $75 donation to PAL
$50 donation = $150 donation to PAL
Donate directly on the Arizona Gives Day Website

Thank you for your ongoing support!
Please help PAL by completing a brief, 5-minute online survey about your experience with the PAL program. This can be done using your mobile device if you like. Your honest feedback is vital to helping PAL serve its members, as well as allowing PAL to request additional funding to support the program.

Please take a few minutes and complete the survey 

Researchers at Northern Arizona University are conducting this anonymous survey, independent of PAL. To help you feel comfortable offering your honest feedback, the survey will not collect identifiable information and will only report findings in aggregate.

If you have any questions about this project, please contact:
Dr. Cindy Scott-Janicik, EdD, or
Kristen Alaniz, MEd, LCSW,
Begin Survey
Three Common Misconceptions
About Alcohol/Drug Addiction and Recovery
NUMBER ONE: is the common misconception that detox is part of our rehab. Actually, the detox process prepares a person for rehab by medically removing the addictive chemicals from their mind and body so they can be in their right mind and be able to benefit from a stay in rehab. This means that addicts and alcoholics who enter detox over and over and over, but skip out on rehab, don't really get any benefit of rehab.

The benefit of rehab comes when a sober person is living with other sober patients and is exposed to the truth about addiction and recovery and all its essential details. In that environment they can learn what is necessary to create a successful and responsible drug and alcohol-free life.
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