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Letter from the Executive Director - Kim Humphrey

Dear Friends, 

We are still celebrating the October 26 PAL banquet held in Arizona. We had over 500 people at this sold out event that drew people from around the country to honor PAL, raise awareness and build a support of resources to help PAL continue its mission to bring hope to hurting families.  Thank you to everyone who attended the banquet and to all of our sponsors and especially to our Presenting Sponsor, Soul Surgery for their generous support of this amazing event. For all of our dedicated volunteers who helped us pull this together, thank you! It may be cliché, but we definitely could not have done this without you.

Many other things are happening - please check the newsstands in the magazine section, Time Magazine just published a book, the “The Science of Addiction,” in which they reprinted the Money magazine article from last December that featured PAL. The cover speaks about supporting loved ones and again lists PAL as a valuable resource for parents. 

We are working hard to get the word out and push to get as many meetings as we can started this year. With PAL in nearly 40 states now, we hope we can begin to fill in more and more gaps across the country. If you are interested in getting a meeting going, please respond to this email and join the nearly 400 other facilitators who are making such a difference in the lives of others as well as being a part of their own recovery.  I am humbled every day when people share their stories and we find that more and more families are willing to come forward and help break the stigma surrounding drug addiction. It happens to every family in some form. We want to reach out and do what we can to turn back this tide that is devastating our country.
 
Thank you again and I hope you find more information in our newsletter that encourages you in your journey.

God Bless,

Kim Humphrey
PAL Executive Director

Do I Need to Set Boundaries?
PAL  Blogger: 
by Ashley Worthington

As we continue the conversation around common questions or comments I hear from parents of addicted loved ones in my practice, one of the top concerns involves setting boundaries.  I often hear clients say, “I was talking with someone (or I went to a PAL meeting) and they mentioned I might need help with boundaries.  Where do I even start?”  What an incredible question!  And it’s one that I enjoy helping clients explore for themselves.  A good place to begin is to unpack the definition and meaning behind the term “boundary.”  Boundaries are the rules and limits we set for ourselves within our relationships.  Someone who has healthy boundaries can say “no” to others when they want to, but they also have the ability to be open to intimacy and close relationships. 

In understanding boundaries, it’s important to see the process as a spectrum.  On one end is boundarylessness, which can also be described as enmeshment.  This is where the people in relationship find it hard to delineate their own reality from the reality of the other person; they often do not know where they end and the other person begins emotionally.  On the other end of the spectrum is a relationship that is walled off.  This happens when a person is emotionally shut down, uninvolved, and avoidant.

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SMILE Amazon Benefits PAL
It's easy, it's free and it helps PAL! click here or just go to https://smile.amazon.com/
Next sign in using your normal Amazon username and password.  Amazon will prompt you to select an organization, type in: Parents of Addicted Loved Ones. Select PAL and after you complete the process, make sure at top left of page, you see orange letters "Supporting" and to the right of that it should say Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL) in white.

That is it! You're now correctly signed up. Simply always go to https://smile.amazon.com/ to sign in and make your Amazon purchases and by doing so you are helping to support PAL.  There is no cost to you!
Parent Testimonial: 
GOD HAS A MASTER PLAN

Our story is not different than most of our PAL’s.  We have a 30-year-old daughter who started to play around with substances in her teens.  From what she has said, we gather she was 15.  We knew she was binge drinking among other things, but really thought this was a phase. 

As the years passed, we became addicted and focused on saving her… repeatedly.  At 22 she purchased her first heroin and then things started to get real for us. 

We found PAL by the grace of GOD.  We had been given Mike Speakman’s book a year prior to attending our first meeting, but refused to open it up.  We really had no idea we had a problem.  We were only interested in Karen fixing herself, so we could move on and have a normal life.  Karen started to steal from us and manipulate us to a point where we could not even communicate with each other. 

I “found” The Four Seasons of Recovery on my bookshelf while looking for a cookbook one day.  Within minutes I found a group in our city that we could attend.  Again, we went for resources, so she could “fix herself.”  It was about the third meeting when we not only realized we were sick too, but that God had placed this in our hearts as a ministry.  It was 1.5 years later that we started our first group.  We prayed that God would bring the people.  Our first meeting had one person attend, but by the third meeting we had 16 people.  We now know that God had placed all of this in our lives, not only to heal ourselves, but to also work his plan in our lives, as well as the lives of others. 

One thing we know is that God has a master plan and we talk about this all the time in our group.  We do not know what his plan is, but we are faithful and trust in him!  Since we joined PAL, Karen has been homeless, prostituted herself for drugs, in jail, in prison and has had two open-heart surgeries.  Today we are happy to say that she is currently not using and very engaged with her family.  Although she is not attending a recovery program, we realize that this is her story and not our story to write.  One thing we remind ourselves often is that her story is not over! 

Pal Parent

PAL ANNUAL BANQUET AN EVENING OF HOPE 
The Fifth Annual Discover Hope Banquet, presented by Soul Surgery was a great success! We netted nearly $90,000 and increased the attendance to more than 500 guests! Our fundraising efforts are critical to responding to families searching for hope!

As you know, PAL’s growth continues to accelerate, and the need is great to help coordinate and support the hundreds of PAL volunteers who are leading meetings across the United States. Our fundraising efforts are focused on responding to and managing this growth and ensuring our ability to continue to provide more support to our volunteers.

We owe the event’s success to everyone who attended, who bid on auction items, who made a donation during the event and to our generous sponsors.  In addition, it couldn’t have happened without the many volunteers who served on the committees, helped secure event sponsors, sold tickets, helped to secure silent auction items and all the volunteers who helped the day of the event with set up, registration, check-out, and clean up. It was an amazing effort!

We know the need for PAL is great! We each have our own journey to Hope and are extremely fortunate to have each other for support, encouragement and to learn important lessons to help us live a healthier life.  Thank you all for your support!
Daily Reprieves
PAL Blogger:
By Sean, In Recovery

In Alcoholics Anonymous basic text, we learn that our recovery is a daily reprieve, contingent upon the maintenance of our spiritual condition. In other words, we don’t get to accrue recovery. I like to think of it more like remission – as long as I take my “prescription” (i.e.: prayer, meditation, participating in the program, service to others, and focus on physical health and wellness), I will reap the benefits of recovery, that freedom from the bondage of self. All too often, in part due to the nature of the disease, addicts will pull back on a diligent program after experiencing some sobriety time, inevitably finding themselves back in a state of restless, irritable discontent. This doesn’t always lead to relapse, but unfortunately  puts one at risk.  I believe that this mode of action, this “daily practice/growth," if you will, draw parallels to any form of recovery one attempts to undertake, whether it be health issues/illness, mental and emotional health, or co-dependency. This spectrum would of course include the struggle of the family or spouse of someone else afflicted with any of the above issues. Over the past few years I’ve illustrated to myself the effect procrastination, laziness, and inaction has on my own recovery, and have learned some valuable lessons through trial and error on what it takes to achieve balance, to take honest stock of oneself, and what kind of effort it takes on a daily basis to not only maintain a spiritual relationship with God, but to grow with Him as well. When it comes to helping others in a healthy, meaningful way, helping yourself is of the utmost importance. “You cannot transmit something you haven’t got." Listed below are some practical suggestions on how we can help ourselves, placing us on the path to serenity and genuine usefulness to others.

If we could solve all our problems, overcome those tough mental blocks that baffle us time and time again, we would have done so long ago. The fact of the matter is that any recovery program is based on the admission that we cannot out-think our own issues and need outside assistance. This is an excellent first step – recognizing we need help and wholeheartedly seeking it out, whether it’s through PAL, 12-step, church, group therapy or otherwise. Attending groups whose members are walking through the same difficulties is vital. Through fellowship, support, education, and witnessing our peers succeed in real time, we too can experience comfort and freedom. Programs like PAL and 12-step have very clear-cut guidelines that are simple to follow. Meetings are filled with compassionate, heartfelt individuals who can love you when you simply cannot find that love for yourself. For me, AA provided a home, a place to lean on and learn from others, and most importantly, genuine unbridled hope. I cannot stress the importance of fellowship enough – it is the backbone, the foundation of our new way of life. When you’ve experienced enough pain and are ready to take the next step towards healing, surrounding yourself with these programs and participating in them fully, will take you far. God is alive and indeed working through others.  Seeing His good works through others' personal transformation, can act as the spark that will ignite the same in yourself.

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Discover Hope Live Stream is Available on Facebook!

Missed the banquet? Never fear! We live streamed portions of the Discover Hope banquet and those videos are still available to watch from the comfort of your own home. Access the live stream here.

For the most up to date, inspiring, or informational content on PAL, be sure to continue checking our Facebook page. We are posting as often as we can, and we love hearing back from you as well! If you've got a question or story to share, feel free to contact us via Messenger or comment on any of our posts!

ON Newsstands NOW!
Please check the newsstands in the magazine section, Time Magazine just published a book, the “The Science of Addiction,” in which they reprint the Money Magazine article from last December that featured PAL. The cover speaks about supporting loved ones and again lists PAL as a valuable resource for parents. 
Copyright © 2019 PAL - Parents of Addicted Loved Ones, All rights reserved.


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