Letter from the CEO/Executive Director -
We are all voyagers in this life, traveling uncharted territories. Best-selling author Martin Dugard wrote a book entitled The Explorers. As noted inside the cover; “Dugard guides readers through the seven vital traits that… history’s most legendary explorers called upon to see their impossible journeys through to the end. In doing so, Dugard demonstrates that we are all explorers and that these traits have a most practical application in everyday life.”
He notes that these seven traits are all needed for success and they progress in the following order: curiosity, hope, passion, courage, independence, self-discipline, and perseverance.
As I read those, I could not help but think about my journey through PAL. We started out with a true curiosity – in desperation, to find something that would work. We went to our first meeting and I would say I was somewhat cynical that anything would help us deal with our sons’ addictions. And yet, we found hope, we saw people that were passionate about helping others and sharing their journey, we learned to have courage to try things we never thought possible, we eventually started to do things on our own, we became more and more disciplined with boundaries and taking care of ourselves and finally we knew this was a marathon and not a sprint, and that we had to persevere.
I am so thankful we did. I am also thankful for all those that continue to carry on the PAL mission as we face the worst drug crisis that is clearly upon us underneath this pandemic. It is for this reason we are so excited about the upcoming Power of PAL event on November 13th. We need your help to get the word out and register people for this free 90-minute national broadcast that I know will be educational, inspirational, and even includes some fun.
We have a keynote speaker who is the subject of a best-selling book and a major motion picture. It’s truly something to look forward to. Will you post this on your social media, share with everyone you know and most importantly sign up now by clicking here. Yes, the main event is free but for those that want a little more, we have a special VIP event the day prior on November 12th. This will feature myself and Mike Speakman talking about some things that are not a part of the PAL curriculum and hopefully will be inspirational and informative as well. You will also get the opportunity to see a famous speed painting artist create a special painting of Hope in just 15 minutes. This will then go on sale in our silent auction that leads up to the event. You can get your VIP event tickets by clicking here and the cost is only $10.
I continue to pray for PAL and all our families that are struggling during this time and hope that you are finding some peace and hope as we all go through this together.
PAL CEO/Executive Director
REGISTER TODAY FOR THIS MUST
Don't Forget to REGISTER!
Join a national audience to experience hope!
Friday, November 13, 2020
8 pm EST • 7 pm CST • 6 pm MST • 5 pm PST
The Power of PAL is a FREE, 90-minute broadcast that will feature a mixture of motivational speakers, uplifting music, storytelling and a bit of fun and laughs. This fundraiser will benefit Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL) as well as increase awareness of available resources and support for families with a loved one who is battling substance use disorder. Be sure to register!
Consider Hosting a Watch Party for
the Power of PAL Event
Everyone is invited to tune into this free streaming event, which will feature a mixture of motivational speakers, uplifting music, storytelling and a bit of fun and laughs!
If it is safe to do so in your community, consider hosting a Watch Party. This is a great way to connect with each other as well as to introduce PAL to those not familiar with our support to parents.
A watch party is a gathering of 4 or more peopleeither at your home, your meeting location or via Zoom. Prior to the start time of our virtual event, we invite you to gather with friends, family or PAL friends to watch the event together.
Judging Yesterday's Action with Today's Information
PAL Blogger Josh Azevedo, LISAC
Looking for a surefire way to ruin your day, month, year, even all your golden years?
Try this… let’s judge yesterday’s actions with today’s information.
Take what you know today, with all your experience and knowledge; then look back over your life, make sure to focus directly on your parenting and sort through each detail. The next step is taking what you know now, with today’s information, and judge all your past decisions. Notice all your mistakes and say things to yourself like, I should have, I could have, and I would have.
See how that works! Instant misery. Now that you are good and depressed, let's talk about judging yesterday's actions with today’s information. As absurd as it may seem laid out in the above way, it is one of the primary ways that parents stay stuck, sick, and unhappy. Many parents of addicts do this to themselves for years, always with negative results. This mentality of judging past decisions with new information fosters low self-esteem, depression, guilt, poor relationships, and even poor health. The regret and guilt created by doing this can keep a parent engaged in a dynamic with their adult children that allows the child to avoid the natural consequences of their addiction.
Sometimes parents might judge others' (spouse, schools, law enforcement, friends, etc.) past actions in relation to their child and blame them for their child's problems and addiction. This mindset succeeds in keeping the addict in the victim role rather than allowing the addict to take ownership over what he/she must change in order to recover. This mindset is also often used by parents to avoid that persistent and scary (FALSE) belief that it is their fault that their child is faced with addiction.
And that’s not all! If you fall in love with the painting (which we bet you will), you have the opportunity to buy it! Immediately after the show, the work of art will be listed for the final day of the national online auction … make it yours!
The regional auction was a warm-up to The Main Event: PAL’s first national auction, available to everyone around the country! We have destination trips, sporting equipment, artwork, custom tailored men’s clothing – a host of items that you can’t get anywhere else. It’s a great chance to get going on your Christmas shopping … or to treat yourself to something special!
Here are a few of the amazing items you can bid on:
Four one-day Hopper Passes to Walt Disney World! Make memories at the Happiest Place on Earth (a $696 value)!
Artwork and handcrafted objects!
A Boccieri limited edition heavy putter (circulation of just 500), each putter numbered, blade head design, plumber’s neck hosel, full shaft offset, 3-degree loft and 72-degree lie!
Four general admission tickets to the breathtaking Biltmore in Asheville, NC – America’s largest home and the magnificent estate with acres of gardens, hiking trails and the winery!
Couple’s getaway to French Lick & West Baden, Indiana!
Custom-fit men’s clothing made just for you from a master haberdasher!
Bidding opens Nov. 8 at 8:30 a.m. MTS and closes Nov. 13 at 4:00 p.m. MTS, just before The Power of PAL starts! If you participated in the regional auction in October, you’re already registered and can start bidding the minute the gate opens; if not, it’s a very simple process. This link will go live when the auction starts: https://pal-auction.org/
Spread the word – here’s a chance to support the wonderful work PAL does AND get something really special at the same time. Let the bidding begin!
A Parent's Testimonial:
Hope comes from the changes you make as a parent
My husband and I both were raised in stable households. We have two kids – a girl and a boy – and we enjoyed so much together as a family. We were boaters and the kids waterskied, rode ATVs, hiked, and cooked meals together. We had big family cookouts nearly once a month and traveled regularly to visit family and friends. Both kids were diagnosed with ADHD and put on Adderall in elementary school, something we didn’t think about until later.
Our daughter “Ann” was an honor student, and “Bill” was a great athlete. Ann started partying a lot her junior year, and while we knew she was drinking, she managed to keep her grades up. She graduated from college, got four internships and a series of great jobs, but always seemed to have trouble keeping them. There was a parade of boyfriends. But because she was always able to maintain her GPA at school we never realized how much she was abusing alcohol.
Bill was a goody-goody who never broke the rules and didn’t even like alcohol. But at 15, fellow football players introduced him to muscle relaxants. He liked how they helped with his social anxiety, and that led to trying marijuana and ultimately opiates. He went to college out of state, which exposed him to more substances. I’ll never forget the shock I felt one October day seven years ago when he told me he was addicted to Percocet, despite trying to stop many times on his own. He wanted help.
We did help – we got him get into a Suboxone clinic, and they assured us in nine months he’d be fine. I later discovered instead of weaning him off the Suboxone, instead they added Ambien to help him sleep, and Clonidine for anxiety. From there, he went to another inpatient facility. He tried to go back to college but relapsed hard and had three hospitalizations for MRSA infections.
Disconnect to Reconnect PAL Blogger: Sean, In Recovery
Recently, I’ve found myself glued to social media and the news. And as I sit here tonight, thinking about my life, about yours, about us, humanity as a whole, I have to wonder: What good have these platforms done for us? Is the constant feed of 24/7 news coverage enriching my life? Is it adding to my ability to perceive and feel happiness and peace? While being informed is not necessarily a bad thing, the content that reaches us through our devices isn’t always an accurate representation of what’s honestly happening in the world around us. I’ve lost sleep thinking about talking points, statistics, the struggles that myself and others are enduring on a regular basis. I’ve felt anger, resentment, and fear at the lack of regard for our fellow man that seems to be constantly on display. Sometimes it feels like we’ve honestly lost our way, as a people.
By and large, this points to a larger issue at hand. Standing by, allowing yourself to be bombarded with negativity, will breed negativity in your own life. This is an extremely simple, but often overlooked concept that is probably happening in your circle of existence at this moment. If I have an argument, if someone cuts me off on the freeway, flipping my phone or the radio on to listen to Donald Trump and Joe Biden argue for 90 minutes is probably not going to help me feel better. It will undoubtedly contribute to and perpetuate the feelings I’m already feeling. And how often, in a moment of boredom, of sadness, of loneliness, do we look to our device for distraction? Probably more than we’d like to admit. How often at this point in time is that content wholesome, unbiased, good news?