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Parents of Addicted Loved Ones
September 2017 Newsletter

In This Edition:
Message from the Board Chair
Finding Strength and Blessings in Grief
A Journey to Hope
Blog: Surrender...An Act of "Giving Over"
A Journey in Recovery
Remember to Use Amazon Smile and Support PAL
Sign up for Fry's Foods Rewards Program
I felt alone for many years.  My hope is in knowing that I am not alone.  My hope also is now knowing the resources that are available and how to access them. This group has truly been a God send for me.
by Kim Humphrey, PAL Board Chairman

PAL continues to grow! I love reporting to you on growth and in just the past 18 months we have trained nearly 140 new facilitators! – in the last 6 weeks- we had roughly 10 meetings get started around the country!  Yes, I said “roughly,” because I lost track at one point with so many starting up at the same time. 

I recently asked for testimonials and have been receiving them via email. Please continue to send me one to three sentences on your Journey to Hope, they are inspiring and we will be sharing them soon in various ways.  On one hand, I love to hear these stories of hope but on the other, I receive notes almost daily from people looking for help, and realizing there is no meeting in their community. We do the best we can to refer them and hope that someone will decide to step up and facilitate, but some are just not ready and really need a place to go. If you are receiving this and have been thinking about starting a meeting, please let us know, we provide training, a mentor by phone, and all the supplies. Your decision will bless many!

Our vision is to make PAL meetings available wherever they are needed and we will continue to work to make that vision a reality.  Walt Disney was famous for his visionary thinking, and he used to hold “Imagineering sessions,” to design a new theme park attraction or ride. He had one rule for these sessions, the rule was that nobody participating in the session could say the word “cant.”  He assumed just like Henry Ford once said, “If you think you can or you cant, your are right.”  As PAL faces this tremendous growth the board has been faced with what we can and what we cant (oops) our challenges are. We simply realize we need more help than we can offer as an all volunteer organization.

We currently have part-time administrative help but we plan to expand this to full time administrative help and hopefully to having a program manager or Executive Director on board within the next few months.  This of course means we need sufficient funding and thanks to the generosity of those who support PAL, we are close to this reality.  Our annual banquet on October 28th in Phoenix, is our primary fundraiser and we hope you are able to attend or support it in some way.  In the future we hope to have regional events to get out to areas of the country where we have a strong presence and to help build PAL where we do not.  It can be difficult to look at these challenges and think we are not capable, but God has blessed us in many ways and we continue to have faith that we will be able to keep saying “we can” to those that call and want to start a meeting.  We spend about $250.00 in hard and soft costs associated with starting a meeting, and the math is pretty easy when you have “roughly,” ten meetings starting in a six week period. So again, if you can please join us for the banquet on October 28th, tickets are still available and there is more information in this newsletter including a link to get your tickets. Also, our counselor is back with another great blog on Letting Go, as well as our local person in recovery with his take on the difference between sobriety and recovery.  


Kim Humphrey

Finding Strength and Blessings in Grief

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. I apologize that our Newsletter is coming out late. Sadly, I know this happens at PAL meetings around the country, but at our own meeting, a couple lost their beloved son a couple of weeks ago and we have been heartbroken. This couple has been an amazing example for others as they dealt with their loved one who was in another state, and had recently relapsed. When we got the call the day he lost his battle with addiction, we were simply speechless. Since the death of their son we have been so amazed at their ability to find some peace in all of this. They even called to say they wanted to volunteer for our upcoming banquet!

I am in awe at their strength. We are blessed by them- and they have received notes from people they never met telling them how their son had made a difference in their lives. And so, I am reminded that even in tragedy, we see people come together and reach out to one another in ways only one parent can to another.  In this and many ways PAL continues to be blessed.

Join us for our 3rd Annual Hope Banquet, 
"Journey to Hope" on
Saturday, October 28 

at North Phoenix Baptist Church in Phoenix.  

Event Highlights: 
  • Fun evening with music, fabulous food and beautiful decor
  • An amazing silent auction with one-of-a-kind items
  • Inspirational Guest Speakers: 
    • Maricopa County Sheriff Paul Penzone who has made the opioid epidemic a priority to address in this community
    • Former Director of the Arizona Governor’s Office of Youth, Faith and Family and PAL mom, Debbie Moak will be joined by her son, Steve, to share their journey
Event proceeds will be used to start PAL Groups in communities
across the United States where there is a need. 

Please join us in making a difference!

Tickets are $50 per person, or $400.00 for a table of ten
for tickets 
Click here

Looking forward to sharing the very special evening together.
Blog: Surrender…An​ ​Act​ ​of​
​“Giving​ ​Over​ ​To” 
In​ ​a​ ​previous​ ​blog​ ​I​ ​mentioned​ ​that​ ​surrender​ ​is​ ​not​ ​giving​ ​in,​ ​nor​ ​is​ ​it​ ​giving​ ​up.​ ​It​ ​is​ ​in​ ​fact​ ​a “giving​ ​over​ ​to.”​ ​It​ ​is​ ​a​ ​recognition​ ​that​ ​we​ ​are​ ​powerless​ ​and​ ​that​ ​our​ ​attempts​ ​to​ ​fix​ ​do​ ​not​ ​work (Step​ ​1​ ​in​ ​AA).​ ​It​ ​is​ ​“coming​ ​to​ ​believe​ ​(or​ ​at​ ​least​ ​hoping)​ ​that​ ​a​ ​Power​ ​greater​ ​than​ ​ourselves can​ ​restore​ ​sanity”​ ​(Step​ ​2​ ​in​ ​AA)​ ​which​ ​then​ ​leads​ ​or​ ​pushes​ ​us​ ​to​ ​“make​ ​a​ ​decision​ ​to​ ​turn​ ​our will​ ​and​ ​our​ ​lives​ ​over​ ​to​ ​God​ ​as​ ​we​ ​understand​ ​Him”​ ​(Step​ ​3​ ​in​ ​AA).  ​ ​​

​Surrender​ ​is​ ​a​ ​verb….​ ​It's​ ​action!​ ​It​ ​requires​ ​faith,​ ​courage​ ​and​ ​persistence.​ ​It​ ​is​ ​also​ ​a direction.​ ​It​ ​is​ ​reaching​ ​beyond​ ​ourselves​ ​and​ ​our​ ​limits​ ​to​ ​embrace​ ​the​ ​help​ ​of​ ​God​ ​&​ ​others! When​ ​we​ ​surrender​ ​we….​ ​Exercise​ ​healthy​ ​control​ ​over​ ​our​ ​lives​ ​&​ ​not​ ​the​ ​addict’s​ ​life ​ ​​ ​Rely​ ​on​ ​the​ ​wisdom,​ ​experience​ ​&and ​support​ ​of​ ​those​ ​who​ ​have​ ​been​ ​on​ ​this​ ​path  ​ ​​ ​Accept​ ​the​ ​present​ ​reality​ ​and​ ​ask​ ​“what​ ​can​ ​I​ ​learn?”​ ​or​ ​“where​ ​can​ ​I​ ​grow?” ​ ​​ ​Give​ ​others​ ​responsibility​ ​for​ ​their​ ​lives ​ ​​ ​Allow​ ​others​ ​to​ ​be​ ​who​ ​they​ ​choose​ ​to​ ​be​ ​and​ ​make​ ​the​ ​mistakes​ ​they​ ​choose​ ​to​ ​make ​ ​​ ​Help​ ​those​ ​who​ ​are​ ​ready​ ​for​ ​help (those​ ​taking​ ​responsibility​ ​and​ ​helping​ ​themselves)  ​​ ​Make​ ​ourselves​ ​accountable ​ ​​ ​Repeat​ ​these​ ​actions​ ​each​ ​day 

The​ ​above​ ​is​ ​only​ ​a​ ​partial​ ​list​ ​of​ ​actions​ ​we​ ​take​ ​when​ ​we​ ​surrender.​ ​What​ ​other​ ​actions​ ​come to​ ​mind?​ ​Ask​ ​your​ ​PAL​ ​group.​ ​Create​ ​your​ ​own​ ​list.​ ​Begin​ ​to​ ​see​ ​surrender​ ​for​ ​what​ ​it​ ​is….​ ​The pathway​ ​to​ ​peace​ ​&​ ​healing
Ron Paterik is a practicing psychotherapist in Phoenix, Arizona with over 20 years experience. He is a licensed Independent Substance Abuse Counselor and also a Whole Life Leadership Mentor at Grand Canyon Counseling.
A Journey In Recovery
Living a fulfilling life in recovery is more than just physical sobriety or abstinence; this is a common misconception among people early in sobriety and those unfamiliar with the recovery process. Total abstinence is certainly a beginning; but hardly the end. Those who’ve maintained sobriety for a measure of time have come to realize what we suffer from is a spiritual malady, a “life” problem, that goes far deeper than drug or alcohol abuse.

We come to find that chemicals or substances were in actuality our solution when we’re in active addiction, or what we use to cope with emotional trauma, everyday stress, or mental health issues among other things. When you remove the drugs, we’re still left with ourselves, and the reasons we possibly began abusing drugs in the first place. Without some type of solution or program of recovery, our chance of living a meaningful, joyous, enriching life are elusive. We have to find a replacement if we are to succeed- the most common being the 12-step program, which is a simple, straightforward path designed to affect a spiritual experience or “psychic change” that is essential for addicts pursuing a life free from the chains of substance abuse that bind us. AA essentially provides us with a solution to our addict problem- one that allows us to meet life on life’s terms, to clear away the wreckage of our past, and to be of maximum service to others.

This process takes time. In AA we claim spiritual progress, never spiritual perfection- but if one can truly give themselves to the program, surrender the idea that somehow we can beat addiction through sheer force of will- we find ourselves in a place of peace, of true freedom. This experience transcends physical sobriety tenfold. The obsession to use drugs and alcohol being removed is essentially a side of effect of the successful consummation of this process. Therein lies the main difference between physical sobriety and recovery. Those attempting physical sobriety with no spiritual program are unlikely to succeed. All our character defects, our inherent self-centeredness as addicts remains, with no solution. This experience is often referred to as white knuckling sobriety, or desperately attempting to marshal the fallible human will into just saying no to what for many years was our relief, our refuge. “Wherever you go, there you are”. Our problem will not magically resolve itself overnight simply by removing the substances; alcohol and drugs are not the problem; WE are the problem. Without them, we’re doomed to a life of wishing things could be different, of resentment at our situation. In essence, Recovery is the rebuilding of the life that we saved when we got Sober.

Sean, (In recovery)

Support PAL When You Make a Purchase on Amazon

Simply Register with Amazon Smile and PAL Benefits at No Cost to You



1) Go to
2) Sign in using your normal Amazon username and password.
3) Amazon will prompt you to select an organization-type in Parents of Addicted Loved Ones-PAL
4) Select the Gilbert AZ PAL, and then make sure that at top left of page, in orange letters you will see the word “Supporting”: it should say Parents of Addicted Loved Ones (PAL) in white letters next to supporting.
5) You’re now correctly signed up. Simply go to to sign in each time and make your Amazon purchases (if you just go to it will not register with your charity) and by doing so Amazon will send a portion of the profit to support PAL.

Fry's Foods - It's easy and again, it's free.  If you live in Arizona - and now available in Indiana or Ohio - please connect your Fry's Foods rewards to our account. Its easy- and again its free. Please share with all of your family and friends to help PAL every time you shop!  Note: the following link will take you to an instruction sheet to sign up, if you are from Indiana / Ohio, look for PAL that is in your state.
Click here for instructions on signing up for Frys Foods Community Rewards Program.
Donate Now - Click Here
Copyright © 2016 LIST:PAL All rights reserved.
Our mailing address is:
P.O. Box 3325
Gilbert AZ 85299
Phone : 480-300-4712
Email :

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