Copy
Letter from the Executive Director - Kim Humphrey

Dear Friends,

“I really appreciated you asking me to speak and felt honored to do so.

Thank you for helping my mom which in turn helped save my life.”

 

I am certain that PAL works!  I received this note from a young woman who has about three years in recovery. Her mom attended PAL and she came to speak as a guest speaker at our PAL meeting last week. 

 

It’s hard to believe myself, but my wife and I celebrated seven years as PAL facilitators this past month. Someone asked us how long we would continue to facilitate.  That’s a great question, but, as long as we receive notes like this and we witness the changes in the lives of parents and families, we are excited to be a part of PAL. I pray all our meetings are a source of hope and strength for those who attend. 

 

This month we have a new blogger that will hopefully join our crew of great contributors. Ashley is a substance abuse counselor and has been helping families in the Arizona area for some time now. She has a unique perspective on helping parents and others navigate this disease of addiction.  In addition, PAL has been featured on Family Life Radio with a Public Service Announcement for the past week and we are so thankful people are finding our meetings through these radio spots. We are also aggressively using Facebook to help advertise our meetings and to get as much exposure to the issue of addiction as we can.

Read More
FORGIVENESS
PAL Guest Blogger: 

by Ashley Worthington, MA, LAC

Forgiveness is a word that carries a great deal of weight to it, especially if you are a parent of an addicted loved one.  Some questions that may cross a parent’s mind include:  Am I obligated to forgive?  Does forgiveness mean I forget what he or she did?  Is forgiveness equivalent to restoration?  What if I don’t feel forgiving toward my addicted loved one?  All of these questions are important and valuable.  Forgiveness is multifaceted and understanding what it means, especially in the context of addiction, is essential.

Read More
Speakman's Book:
A Handbook on Addiction for Parents
The Four Seasons of Recovery for Parents provides a clear understanding of the steps you can take to regain control of a frustrating situation that at times can feel hopeless. 

If you purchase in bulk you'll receive a discount price - 10 books for $15. each (no taxes of shipping charges).  Visit the website by
clicking here.
A Collection of Parent Testimonials

This month we are featuring some posts we have received on Facebook. If you do not follow us, please consider doing so and consider sharing stories of hope with others.

            "The support PAL has given me over the years has been life changing for me. I started attending a group in Arizona 10 years ago and even called Mike Speakman for advice in trying times. Today I am in a group in KY supporting others and receiving support. We have to take care of ourselves. There is HOPE. This is a group that walks with you and prays for you. The book is full of wisdom and is a great reference. You are not alone! Find a group near you."

              "My daughter lost her battle with heroin three and a half weeks ago. I had attended only a few PAL meetings and had learned to mother her differently. It was so hard to stop enabling, but as hard as losing her is, I can’t stress enough the relief I feel knowing that I DID NOT finance her overdose. She was homeless and I took her food, blankets, etc., and took her for help a few times. She was in recovery for a while and I thought she was doing well - and then that awful call came. PLEASE share my story! I desperately want to reach other parents to let help them come to know that, yes, you DO tell your child that they cannot come for Christmas until they’ve had sustained recovery and have earned back your trust; yes, you DO tell your child that you will buy them lunch, but will not give them cash because you do not want to later wonder if you bought the “hit” that killed them! I don’t know if this helps, but I want to help prevent other parents from going through this."

              "I know this sounds harsh, but when my daughter was locked up, at least I knew she was safe and not using. It’s hard, I know, but a different mindset is imperative. It doesn’t mean you love them any less; in fact, it’s a true act of love to stop enabling them. Prayers for you and your child."

             "Excellent organization with peer support and a great format where you can gain a lot of useful ideas from others! You are not alone and where there is breath, there is HOPE!! PAL is designed to provide hope through education and support!!"

              "I've been going to PAL meetings now for almost two years and I can't say enough about what I have learned and how it has saved my life and my relationships."

Mark Your Calendars - October 26, 2019
The Annual Banquet Needs Volunteers!
PAL’s 5th Annual Banquet will be called “Discover Hope” and we look forward to utilizing this special day to bring the message of PAL to more and more families in need.

Each year about 60 people volunteer to help with the annual Hope banquet.
There are many ways to get involved and assist with this year's event.
We are currently seeking volunteers for the following areas:

Greeters
Check-in
Decorations set-up
Tear down
Finding sponsors
Securing silent auction items
Selling raffle ticket during the event

 If you are interested in being of service to PAL for the banquet, please email admin@palgroup.org.
Please include your name and the portion of the banquet you would like to help with.

We would be eternally grateful for the help!
PAL Blog: The Big Book - AA's Step Four
By Sean, In Recovery

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves."
Step Four AA

 

Individuals that are suffering, may find that the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous has practical applications for a multitude of issues. Some may even call it an antidote for the human condition, or even instruction on how to live a satisfyingly spiritually full lifestyle. Those of us coming into the program, newly sober, are often under the impression that the program strictly relates to the alcoholic or the addict.  We may feel that it will enable us to live freely and abstain, giving us the gift of physical sobriety if we work at it. While this may indeed be true, after some time in the program, we come to realize that abstinence with ease is simply a byproduct of the spiritual awakening or psychic change… if we work the steps. As is often the case, the drugs and alcohol are merely a symptom of a greater underlying issue, a spiritual malady as the big book calls it. This spiritual malady manifests itself in all kinds of ugly behaviors and feelings: restlessness, discontent, irritability, depression, uselessness, self-absorption, resentment, fear, and self-loathing. As a result of these constant oppressive feelings many of us self-medicate with drink, drugs, sex, unhealthy relationships, food, gambling, or myriad other tools of quick relief and escape. This is where the universal benefit of the steps come in. While alcoholism is an extreme example of the lengths with which an individual will go to blot out these feelings, who among us hasn’t experienced, addicted or not, these types of emotions? Anxiety is as widespread as the very air we breathe these days. Generally speaking, most people have struggles.  Most could benefit from a program of action that relieves the weary burden of pain, allowing us to navigate life with a fresh perspective… a spiritual set of tools that enable freedom from the bondage of self. There is a reason addiction is often called the family disease. Those close are clearly affected by the ailment as much as the individual attempting to blot out their own existence with the substance. Rueful hand-wringing worries about the individual, desperate pleas falling on deaf ears, financial and social losses are all the consequences of the drug using individual reverberating throughout the family tree.

           
While all of the steps outlined in the Big Book are integral to success, and meant to be worked chronologically, specifically AA's fourth step inventory is a powerful tool that we all could benefit from exploring. We start by making admissions to ourselves and our higher power that we’re powerless over our addictions, and are willing to let Him guide us in our new life. Only then, can we commence to take a hard look at ourselves, and take inventory of all that holds us back from the light of the spirit. More often than not, we are saddled heavily with tiresome resentment that breaks down our healing process and allows us to comfortably reside in a victim mentality. For years we may have felt wronged by others. Whether it’s the ex-husband/wife, addicted spouse, parents, or a friend, these deeply harbored grudges prowl the depths and recesses of our conflicted psyche, eager to re-enforce the ironclad core-beliefs we have about ourselves and others. How could one be truly free, practice loving kindness with their brothers and sisters whilst encumbered by such chains? It’s a fruitless task, a fool’s errand, attempting to move forward in the healing process carrying this type of baggage. Regardless of how righteous we may feel, how justified in our resentments of others, we must let go of these injustices and rise above.

Read More
Pay it Forward...
Share the Blessings
This year we have made some changes to the
Share the Blessings campaign and have taken
a bit of a different approach after receiving
feedback from facilitators and members. 
 
This year there is something in it for YOUR PAL meeting!

Ask your facilitator for more details.

 
Connect with PAL
on Social Media

PAL has continued to produce new video content with the aim of further educating parents and family members of addicted loved ones. Our recent family education seminar was a success, and initial videos of the event have been posted to YouTube and Facebook! You can view these videos by following the links below.

We will continue to process videos from the Seminar over the coming week, so watch for those to be posted.

We thank you for all your support and engagement on Social Media!

We will answer all comments and messages regarding any videos we post, please subscribe, like, and provide us with feedback as to what topics you would like us to cover!

Copyright © 2019 Parents of Addicted Loved Ones, Inc., All rights reserved.


Want to change how you receive these emails?
You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.