Missing Link... and New Musings...
I find it curious that the link to the Dear Kali post on 'Dating a Younger Man - the Modern Woman's Conundrum'... was inserted incomplete when I pressed send on your email the other day.... a little piece of Mind sparks up that this was the work of the Collective Shadow wanting to keep such post modern thoughts locked safely inside Pandoras Box. But another piece of Mind shouts from the hilltops of her frontal lobe 'HELL NO lady! Send it again!'
So here I am sending it again.... click here to read the latest Dear Kali post on On Dating the Younger Man... This is the modern womans' conundrum for women in their 40's and 50's, and probably 60's and 70's too, and it seems to be opening a conversation for a lot of women about where the men are who can truly meet them. But they are out there. They just haven't had the space to evolve and grow as women have. It's up to us to both encourage, as well as hold space for, their growth too.
And as I dive into the second half of my first year of mothering I can see how this quickening for women happens. Women, as mothers, simply have to find ways to navigate the minefield of their thinking. Without the capacity to witness, one identifies with self as thought. A mother, immersed in the 24/7 practice of selflessness will most certainly go crazy if she believes all the thoughts she has... she will very quickly label herself wicked, no good and completely untrustworthy, and put herself in the "Bad Mom" box.
But thinking thinks. That is what thinking does. And thinking is a conglomerate of all thoughts ever had, ever. It is simply impossible to only have good, kind, selfless thoughts. You are bound to think negatively about your child, your husband, your mother, anyone you spend in significant amount of time with. It's normal and completely natural.
So ladies, ease up on yourself... go on a date, with your man, or a lover or lovers, or a sister. And if you're a man reading this, you ease up on you too... in our hearts we're all trying our best. There are no bad thoughts and there are no bad emotions... it's ok to think unkindly. It's ok to feel angry. It's certainly ok to feel like you need some time to yourself. The only thing that is bad is bad actions coming from an intention to hurt. If you feel like that... go put that baby somewhere safe and take a moment to breathe and reconnect... and if the culprit is a teenager or equal, give yourself some distance and space to drop back into yourself... it's likely they will still be around upon your return to circle the issue again.
Most importantly, take a few minutes (at least) each day to do something good and right for YOU.
And if you have any questions pertaining to your own so called bad thoughts write your questions in to me at Dear Kali using the form in the link here.
And again you can click the following links to read a couple of other questions that have already been posted:
On Waking Up...
On Dating the Younger Man...
PS. I've been getting personal and blogging again, mostly about miracle babies, pregnancy and transitioning from Maiden to Mother, but you can check out my latest posts here.
PPS. Perhaps it's time to embark upon six weeks of Sacred Feminine Wisdom Online - you can complete it in your own time, at your own pace and in your own space.