Hand in Hand Parenting With Madeleine -  Newsletter November 2015 - What's On. How do We Help Our Children Through Troubled Times? Plus courses and resources.  So our messages don't get caught in your spam filter
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How To Help Our Children Through Troubled Times
  Hand in Hand Parenting With Madeleine
Madeleine Scott Winter, smiling!
Hi hardworking parents and supporters of parents! Welcome to our November Newsletter. 

Sadly, events of the past few weeks have added an extra burden to the load all parents carry. 

I've been thinking a lot about how, as parents, we end up alone in our struggles.  But things are hard for us because the world is not well set up for raising children.
Especially at times like these, it is important to reach out for help, support, encouragement and company. Read on for more ideas.

And planning for starting school?  We have links and resources that will help you prepare.

Plus up-coming courses and events.
How to Help My Child Through Troubled Times
How do we talk to our children about what is happening in the world?  How do we protect them from exposure to events they will struggle to understand? How do we adults keep thinking in the face of extreme climate events, regular reports of random acts of violence, and the threat of terror?
The article below, and the links contained in it, provide a good guide to how we can shepherd our children, and ourselves, through these troubling times.  They include a series of links about how to use the Hand in Hand Listening Tools to help children through fears.  I hope you find them helpful, and I would love to hear what you think.

When Bad Things Happen in the World
Quote from Martin Luther King - "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."I don't tend to listen to or watch the news, but sometime on Saturday a couple of weeks ago it filtered through that something dreadful had happened somewhere in the world.

On Sunday, I woke knowing that it was serious, and that I would need some time to talk about how it makes me feel - how lucky am I, how easily it could happen in the city where I live, that my sense of safety in the world is dented.  The horror of imagining what it must be like to have been caught in the middle of it, the senseless waste and carnage, the anguish, shock.

And I wondered, how would I explain this to my child? Read more HERE

At the very least, you can respond with Special Time.

Special Time - Photo of timerThe more I use it in my own parenting and watch other parents using it, the more extraordinary I think Special Time is.  Stuart Brown, a psychiatrist who has studied play, says that play is how humans build trust. 

In Special Time, as well as joining our children in play, we seek to put them "in charge".  They decide, direct and initiate. We delight, lend them our enthusiasm and encouragement.

These two things build a great deal of emotional safety into our relationship with our child.  This allows our children to show us what they are concerned about, both through their play, and at other times.  Emotional troubles and burdens will bubble up, ready to be released in laughter, tears and tantrums.

Creating a relationship with our young people where this is possible, is, I believe, the key to giving them the resilience, flexibility and courage they will need as they face the future.   Try it - you can find more about Special Time HERE

* Find more about Stuart Brown's work HERE

Don't Go It Alone

A hallmark of parenting is that we get very isolated.  We care so much about our children, and we would move heaven and earth for them. The flip side of this is: we are vulnerable to assuming that if things go wrong it is our fault, our personal failing, and our private problem to solve. 

In fact, parenting is hard because the circumstances we have to do it in are hard.  There is no training, it is deeply emotionally demanding, there is very little support.  Add to that the effect of world events, poverty and racism, the situation for men and women, and the way young people are treated in the world.

More than anything else, I hope and wish that no parent should struggle alone to work out how to meet the challenges they face.  Whether it is troubles with school, sleep, sibling rivalries, aggression, shyness, separations, tantrums and upsets, HELP IS AT HAND!

If you are not sure how to approach the latest parenting challenge, consider booking a One on One Consultation with me.  Most parents find between one to three sessions makes a huge difference to their sense of connectedness, control and hopefulness in their family.  Find out more HERE
Stuff for free!
 Have you checked out the Hand in Hand Parenting web site recently?
To Read: This article, from Hand in Hand Founder Patty Wipfler, is about helping our children through traumatic events - such as illness and other frightening experiences.  It provides a great summary of the nuts and bolts of helping children with fears - relevant even when those traumatic events are happening around them, rather than to them.  Click HERE to learn more.

To Listen: 
Do you have a child starting school next year?  You will already be thinking about packing their backpack and buying the uniform, but over the summer you have the chance to give your child an emotional head-start. Listen in while my colleague, Kristen Volk, and I talk about how you can help your child, and yourself, get ready for school. Click HERE for a free replay.


Coming Up

GOT CONCERNS ABOUT SLEEP, LIMIT SETTING, AGGRESSION, SIBLING RIVALRIES? If you would like to know more about Hand in Hand Parenting and how it can solve common parenting challenges, these self-paced online courses are excellent value for money.  Find out more HERE.

PARENTS INTENSIVE: Join a small group of dedicated parents for a 10 week phone and online course starting late January.  Learn how to understand and respond to your child's upsets and manage your own trigger points. Develop a plan to tackle the "emotional projects" in your household, and get support as you put it into action. I have loved teaching the first of these courses, and look forward to the next. Find out more HERE.
SUPPORT CALLS: Join by phone with me and a small group of parents to give and get support as you tell your story and think through parenting challenges. 
  • For Parents of Pre-Teens - Starts Monday 2nd February. Find out more HERE

PROFESSIONALS INTENSIVE: Join with other professionals who work with families to learn about how Parenting by Connection can be used in your practice. Phone-based plus online resources.
  • Starts in the week of January 11.  Find out more HERE
Please keep in touch!  I'd love to have you with us for one of these groups, check out our Facebook page, or email us with your stories and questions.

And please, feel free to forward this email to anyone you think might be interested.  

Warmly, Madeleine
Hand in Hand Parenting with Madeleine Winter

You are receiving this email because you have attended, inquired about or referred families to our courses and workshops, or you work with families in your local area.  For information about upcoming courses and workshops, and to sign up for this newsletter, please go to www.madelinewinter.com .