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On to this month's Email Monday Monthly.
Have I caught you at a bad time?
An awkward moment, perhaps?
As in...are you reading this while perched on the porcelain throne?
Yeah. I see you. Don't try to hide it. (And DEFINITELY don't drop your phone in the bowl.)
Seriously. In a highly scientific poll of my subscribers, I found that 100% of those surveyed usually open my emails while they're - well - in the loo.
But seriously. If you're reading this in the bathroom, we need to talk.
I know I'm not the only one who has checked my smartphone in the can. No, it's not a cute subject, but guess what? It's not a meaningless action, either.
Let's flush out - er, flesh out - why I care.
If you're reading this in the privy, it either means:
#1 (if you will): You get SO LITTLE TIME TO YOURSELF that the only chance you get to log in is while you're logging out. (SORRY. I couldn't help myself.)
#2 (if you will): You're so addicted to technology that you can't have a moment's break, even when you're on the pot.
If your excuse is item #1, I GET IT. I'm a new mom, remember? And that might actually be a valid excuse. In fact, I can neither confirm nor deny that I'm writing this edition of Email Monday using my, uhm, squatting desk.
Even so, perhaps taking a moment to BREATHE instead of hunch over my ee-lek-tronic device would help me relax a bit? Help me recharge for the next stretch of mommyin' I'm about to foist upon the teeny-tiny dictator that awaits outside the outhouse door?
(Who am I kidding. The baby comes to the bathroom with me.)
And if your excuse is item #2, I still get it. I'm addicted to technology, too. When we decided to go totally screen-free around the baby, I about cried - after all, who's with the baby all day? ME.
So this means ME doesn't get screen time any more, ever. *hands trembling*
Unless I'm writing up an Email Monday Monthly on a trip to the outhouse. Item #1, remember?
But that doesn't make it any less of a problem. (And NO, that's not called "multitasking.")
And it is a problem. It's an unprecedented, unique, never-before-had problem. We are literally obsessed, unable to stop, constantly having a finger-affair with our phones.
And since it's a new issue, we have no idea what the consequences might be.
It's only been a few decades (gulp - yes, it's actually been that long) since Zack Morris wow-ed us with his fancy mobile phone, and even that thing didn't have a flashy, bright, brain-scrambling screen on it.
Just a few years ago, we had NO constant access to emails, texts, Facebook, Instagram, and all those newfangled apps for keeping connected (while remaining totally alone).
Heck, when I first joined Facebook, I didn't even have a LAPTOP. I had to log in from the computer lab. The rest of my time was spent, like, INTERACTING with people face-to-face.
Our brains are addicted to the technology. And that might not be so bad - IF we could tear ourselves away from it once in awhile. Like, ya know - when we're in the can.
And really, it's not just the technology. It's our busy-busy-busier-is-better lifestyles that have made relaxing a dirty word. If every moment isn't filled with something, we feel lazy. But that's by NO means the case.
Being LAZY is vastly different from being willing to RELAX, to disconnect, and to reap all the benefits of taking a few deep breaths without a phone in our faces.
In truth, we have to FORCE ourselves to STOP, put down the phone, head to the water closet (or take a walk, or whatever the heck the take-a-break-from-tech activity might be) and RELAX. Take a deep breath.
The phone, and the million-and-one emails, texts, and messenger notifications, will still be there when you get back.
If there's any time for a forced BREAK from technology, it's your time on the toh-let.
So if you're reading this in the bathroom, here's a challenge:
This week, don't even take your phone with you when you "go." Leave it on your desk. (Don't leave it in your pocket, though - because it's likely to slide right out and into the T-bowl.)
When you're doing your bizness, take a few deep breaths. Relax.
And don't forget to wash your hands when you're done.
Once you get out of the loo, let me know on Facebook that you made it out of your technology break alive. A simple "I did it!" will do. (Yes, I'm serious. I want to know who actually does this!)
Thanks for subscribing!
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