Psst! In case you missed it: my bestsellng book Eat the Yolks is now on AUDIOBOOK ...read by ME!
Howâ€™s that New Yearâ€™s Resolution going?
I have mixed feelings about New Yearâ€™s Resolutions. I didnâ€™t make any this year.*
Five days in to 2015, I'm already hearing stories of NYR failure, epic backslides, and extreme self-loathing. Sigh.
On one hand, I think it ROCKS when a plain â€˜ol day-of-the-year takes on the power to symbolize CHANGE to the HELL YEAH-th degree. Youâ€™re going to get HEALTHY! Youâ€™re going to get ORGANIZED! Youâ€™re going to KICK twenty-fifteen in the tuckus!
In other words, if youâ€™re excited and pumped and gung-ho about a New Yearâ€™s Resolution, YAY. Why stifle your excitement just because the whole idea often gets a â€œdoomed to failâ€ bad rap?
(By the way, itâ€™s bad rap, not bad wrap. A â€œbad wrapâ€ is basically a crappy sandwich.)
On the other hand, sometimes New Yearâ€™s Resolutions carry the weight of all our unrealized expectations, all of our negative self-talk, all of our â€œyou werenâ€™t good enoughâ€ or â€œyouâ€™re not okâ€ or â€œyou crapped the bed in 2014â€ feelings. Blech.
It gets even worse when you've laid a New Year's Resolution egg just 5 days in to the new year.
And the bummer is, you canâ€™t lift yourself out of those feelings unless you lift yourself out of those feelings. You canâ€™t CrossFit those feelings away. You canâ€™t checklist them away. You canâ€™t Weight Watchers them away. No matter what day of the year it is.
Abusing yourself at the gym wonâ€™t do it if you keep abusing yourself in your mind.
Identifying as a chronically disorganized jerk while forcing yourself to keep the piles on your desk nice and neat might fix the mess in your office for awhile, but it wonâ€™t fix the mess in your head.
Restricting food wonâ€™t help either, especially if youâ€™re restricting yourself what you really need â€“ love. Positivity. The knowledge that you donâ€™t have to change to be a freaking revelation.
Yes, thereâ€™s some value to â€œfaking it â€˜til you make itâ€ and going through the motions until your heart and head catch up with your gross motor skills. But while youâ€™re faking it, youâ€™ve also got to be doing the work to get your head changed. Know what I mean? And that's true every damn day of the year.
Do a little self-test with me. Identify what your goals are saying about the goings-on in your brain. The answers you dig up are what really determines success or failure.
Since my favorite word these days is juxtaposition, letâ€™s do a little of that:
â€œIâ€™m going to lose weight this year" vs. â€œIâ€™m going to get healthy from this day forward.â€
Yes, you might want to lose weight in order to get healthy. But identifying weight loss, in those words, as your goal, means weight loss is your measure of success.
In that headspace, you quickly forget that your quest is actually for health, which is a journey deserving of flexibility â€“ which involves everything from hormonal balance to happiness to building muscle, all of which can help you change your body composition - sometimes without ever seeing you shed a pound on the scale.
I donâ€™t think Iâ€™m splitting hairs here. If I were, New Yearâ€™s Resolutions wouldnâ€™t be so notorious for never working out. #Failz
Your brain, your thoughts, and your mind-set matter. Do you come from a place of self-hatred or self-love? Self-loathing or self-discovery? Self-immolation or self-awesomation?
So once we grasp all that, thatâ€™s when we can start setting ourselves up for success. Identify what you really need. Do you need to get healthy? Awesome. Do you need to super-charge your work life by getting some systems in place that ensure you get things done? Perfect. I have good news:
YOUâ€™RE ALREADY AWESOME ENOUGH TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS AND YOUR OPPORTUNITIES FOR SUCCESS AND KICKING BUTT ARE LITERALLY LIMITLESS! The New Year has nothing to do with it.
(Sorry, thatâ€™s called yexting. Yelling in text.)
Youâ€™re not broken. Youâ€™re not a failure. Youâ€™re a person with limitless opportunities to live the life you want, and unlimited ability to find creative ways to make it happen no matter what roadblocks you hit.
Once youâ€™ve reached THAT stop in the mental game (itâ€™s somewhere after the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, past the sea of swirly twirly gumdrops, but BEFORE you get to the Lincoln Tunnel) you can start carving that well-vetted â€œbigâ€ goal into smaller, actionable steps.
Want to get healthy? Great. Whatâ€™s your first sticking point? Sugar? Mindless snacking? Digestive upset? A dependence on crap food? You can start eating a good breakfast every morning. You can start the day with some guided meditation to calm stress hormones. You can read a great book on nutrition thatâ€™s also available on Kindle and Audiobook (toot, toot).
And for the love of Pete, if you DO choose to do a formal nutrition program, pick something that breaks down the steps while providing education and support (like The 21 Day Sugar Detox or the almost-released-upcoming-be-on-the-lookout-for-it Weight Loss Unlocked) and that doesnâ€™t just boss you around and make you crazy.
(Unfortunately, I have NO resources for getting oneself effectively and sustainably organized. If you do, leave me a note on the Facebook page.)
All this should NOT make you feel overwhelmed or like your lofty five-day-old goals are dead in the water. This should make you feel like you CAN be successful because OMG YOU JUST FOUND THE MISSING PIECE and THAT PIECE IS IN YOUR HEAD.
You just found the ruby slippers that will take you back to Kansas.** In fact, you were wearing them the whole time. As Glinda the Good Witch of the North would say:
â€œYou don't need to be helped any longer. You've always had the powerâ€¦[you just] had to find it out for [your]self.
â€œNow those magic slippers will take you home in two seconds. Toto too.â€ (Okay, that last line was a little much.)
Remember, ALL IS NOT LOST. It doesnâ€™t matter if itâ€™s January 1st or October 14th or February 36th or any other day of the year. You can start in on any goal, any time, in a mind-set that will yield real results. Youâ€™re FREE to do that. Pretty awesome, right?
Did you make resolutions this year? Howâ€™s your mind-set? What's making this year different? Let me know on the Facebook page.
And in case you missed them, check out my latest posts:
Hereâ€™s to an amazing 2015, and remembering to write â€œ2015â€ on checks!***
*except to not ruin my gestating child, which is becoming less and less abstract a concept as the weeks tick by. #babymakingandbeyond
**Or, you know, whatever place you would actually like to be.
***who writes checks any more?